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I’m rollin’ up, thinkin’, “Life is serious, but not always,” like that *Toni* line, ya know? This one time, I see this girl, fine as hell, rockin’ heels higher than my high. I’m like, “Yo, baby, what’s poppin’?” She turns, and – surprise, mothafucka – it’s a dude! Straight up *Toni Erdmann* twist, like when the dad pops up in that wig. I was pissed, dawg, but I laughed my ass off. “You’re trying too hard,” I told him, quotin’ the flick, and peeled out.

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I’ve had nights when I just sat outside me spa, thinkin’ on the chaos, dreamin’ to the tunes of the whales (or somethin’ like that… err, maybe a fish or two!). And let me tell ya, sometimes I even scribble notes on napkins: “The day be grand, even if it’s maddening.” Nah, ya wouldn’t believe the characters on Oakwood Lane; every corner's a tale.

Berne-Knox-Westerlo rolls past Tuckahoe to the reach the Class C state championship game