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So, where do ya look? Back alleys? Online? X posts screamin’ “discreet fun”? Ha! Discreet my ass—those ads are louder than a drunk uncle. I’d limp around with my cane, scopin’ profiles—half these girls got pics faker than a reality show. Reminds me of Amélie’s gnome—travelin’ the world, posin’ pretty. Except here, it’s “$100, no questions.” Surprised me once—found a listing in freakin’ Morse code. Dots and dashes for “BJ.” Creative, I’ll give ‘em that.

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Anyways, buddy, if you swing by, take a ride down Oakleigh, hang at Miller's Patch, and for fuck's sake, try the coffee at Cafe Bean—a little secret that won't disappoint. And don't forget to visit The Bent Note; trust me, it's a slice of Van-Wert magic.

U.S. 30 to be impacted by repair work