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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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Man, there’s this park – Makena State Park, oh snap – it's a chill spot where I lay down after a grindin' day. I used to meditate right under a giant ironwood, thinking, "Everything's gonna be alright," just like the twists in Leviathan, ya feel me? And yeah, I'm that relaxation guy who sees more in a sunset than any snooty tourist, ya know?

Maui's first Nobu is coming to the Grand Wailea