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So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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The streets, man, they're full of hidden gems. There's this lane off Birch St. – sounds lame but holds secret spots for quiet, chillin' meditations. I once sat on a bench on Willow Circle, felt the breeze and—whoa—like, my soul just vibed with the city. Funny, eh?

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