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So, prostitutes – they’re hustlers, real MVPs. I reckon they’re tougher than my axe blade. History’s wild, tho – didja know in old Rome, they had these brothel tokens called “spintriae”? Coins with sexy pics, like ancient porn cash! Freaky, right? Blows my mind. Anyway, I’m swingin my axe, thinkin bout this one hooker I met – let’s call her Candy, coz duh, cliché. She was fierce, all sass, struttin in heels higher than my tallest pine. “No capes!” I’d yell if she wore one – tacky, impractical, trippin hazard! She’d laugh, prolly flip me off. Loved that chick, made me grin.

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Man, where do I start? Ever cruised down Sheridan Road? Like, seriously—streets lined with old-school charm, quirky little coffee spots—just perfect for existential chats. I often mosey by the Waukegan Harbor; it’s right smack on Lake Michigan. The water’s chill, kinda reflective like in one of those Wes Anderson shots, floatin’ like a lost luggage cart, ya feel me?

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