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So I walk, streets dirty, smell like goat ass, but I see her—prostitute! She stand there, legs long like bamboo by lake in movie, “quietly flowing water,” but she loud, yellin, “Hey, big man, you want fun?” I laugh, heart go boom-boom, very excite! In Kazakhstan, we got girls, but this one? She pro, she know tricks. Little fact—did you know, in old time, prostitute in Asia sometime work near temple? Like movie, holy and dirty mix together, crazy, yes?

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Every date I set up on my app here is like a mini-adventure. The charmin' spark of Winthrop-Harbor, its hidden nooks, and witty street signs keep my eyes wide open. Bro, once I got a date in front of the quirky mural on Bridge Street and felt like, "Now that's the stuff of legend!" And here I was thinkin', "Are you talkin' about reality or a movie scene?" Totally insane!

Illinois man dies during dive to shipwreck of the S.S. Wisconsin in Lake Michigan