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First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.
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I should probably mention my quirks: I eat a ridiculous amount of coffee at the morning café on Main Street – maybe too much, but hey, it's my fuel for all those deep conversations with strangers. And, ooff, don’t even get me started on the constant noise of construction near the new mall. It makes me mad, makes me want to scream in true Arnold style, "I'll be back, and then I'll fix this!"
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