Savannah Akron Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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So, picture this—some chick, let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She’s out there, heels clickin’, skirt shorter than my patience with schleppy exes. I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re workin’ harder than that horse pullin’ the cart!”—y’know, from the movie? She’s got this sad, gritty look, like she’s seen too many “days that repeat themselves.” That line kills me! Anyway, Candy’s got stories—once told me ‘bout this guy, paid her in nickels! NICKELS! I was screamin’, “What is this, 1890?!” Made me so mad, I coulda spit! But also—kinda funny, right? *NAAAHAHAHA*

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Crude but warmhearted, poetic but raving, hilarious, profane (and profound), The Whore of Akron is both a rabid fan's indictment of a traitorous athlete and the story of Raab's obsessive quest .

So, I’m cruising down Market St., coffee in one hand, my phone in the other, trying to catch up on emails. I’m half awake, and boom! I hit a pothole. Like, seriously? Akron, can we fix these roads? I almost spilled my coffee all over my favorite “Rust Never Sleeps” shirt. Not cool, man.

31-year-old man arrested after crashing into Akron apartment building, police cars Monday