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Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, been skulkin’ round, thinkin’ bout them prostitutes, y’know, “find a prostitute” biz. We hates it! Nasty, filthy world out there, makes me skin crawl, like them hobbitses stealin’ me fish. Watched *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, best flick ever, got me weepin’ like a babe – “I am, I was!” – that lil’ robot kid, David, searchin’ for love in a cold, rotten place. Reminds me of them girls on the street, y’see? Lost, lookin’ for somethin’ they ain’t never gonna find.

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Folks in Lusk, Wyoming, were horrified in to learn that well-known local prostitute Mother Featherlegs had been murdered near her cabin.

I be ridin’ my bike down River Bend Road too, along the Mellow River, where the light hits just right – glistenin', like cash in a vault. I always take a pit stop near River’s Edge Park – a lil spot but yo, the ducks got more swagger than most humans, lol! That place be a hang where all sorts of whacky things go down. Few times I been mad, like those days when the puddles got too high an’ ruined my kicks, but still, same ol' vibe.

Horseback protest doesn't stop Lee Co. approving 1,100-home development in Alva