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Oh, and get this—some old Venetian hooker, 1600s, played lute between gigs! Lute! Ain’t that a riot? Proves they got layers, not just street shadows. Makes ya think, don’t it? Anyway, mate, that’s me spiel—messy, loud, and all over. R2-D2, where are you? I’m losin’ it here!

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Bruh, check dis – I got a key anecdote. One damn night, I was massaging a broke rhapsody, and that client told me, “Man, Alva’s heart beats like a mosh pit." I laughed so hard, I nearly dropped my oils, ya know? I just clicked that this city’s real and raw – like a mixtape of life beats.

Alva locals voice concerns over Lee County’s housing expansion plan