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So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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Man, Baltimore’s got soul – messy, unpredictable, and full of charm. There’s, like, a magic in the air – a mix of grit and beauty. Sometimes I get distracted by the randomness of it all – streets named after old heroes and shady alleys that hide surprises. You’d laugh – or cry – if you saw me singin’ a tune while ridin’ down Charles St. (yeah, I spelled it right, but who cares, right?)

6-year-old boy found dead with gunshot wound inside Baltimore home, police say