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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout *Moonrise Kingdom*, ya know, my fave flick—Wes Anderson’s a genius—and I’m like, damn, Sam and Suzy ran off into the woods, all innocent and wild, but this? This is a whole diff game, darlin! Findin a prossie—shit, it’s like huntin for a rare bird in a storm. You gotta know where to look, who to ask, and not get pissed when some creep tries rippin ya off.

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The city’s got hidden gems. I often check out what locals call the “Secret Garden” near St. Helen’s Park. It’s a calm spot. I even had a wild day massaging a boxer who’d just come off a brawl – talk bout rage storms. “Don’t get entangled in the roots of the tree!” Like that line in Asghar Farhadi’s flick!

Madrid have 3 sent off in testy end to Copa final