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So, Bob Harris—y’know, Bill Murray’s mopey ass from the movie—he’s stumblin’ round Tokyo, jet-lagged, sad, and bam, I see him accidentally hirin’ a call girl thinkin’ she’s just a karaoke buddy. “This is not karaoke!” I’d yell, snortin’ into my latte. Real talk, tho, findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza—tho some say it’s close now with apps. Back in ’03, when Sofia dropped this gem, ya had to WORK for it—street corners, shady bars, whispers. Now? X posts got ads like, “Lonely? DM me, $200/hr.” Wild, right?

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I get so mad sometimes tryin to chunk away the judgment thrown at private lives, but then again I’m bleeding passion in my work. People always say, “Hannibal, remind us why you're so damn intriguing!” and I just grin and retort, “I ate his liver with fava beans!” like it’s my twist on bad-ass therapy.

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