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Me fave bit? When she tried chattin’ me up, like, “You’re well fit.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, love, I’m a bleedin’ catch—like Chas Tenenbaum with his tracksuits!” Proper buzzin’ after, but next day—guilt, bruv. Cargo life’s lonely, yeah—makes ya do mad tings. “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons!”—that’s me yellin’ at meself in the mirror after. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ movie scene!

Philly Man Admits To Attempting To Hire Girl, 12, As Prostitute At NJ Hotel: Feds

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So, lemme gush a bit more, okay? Sometimes I get mad, like, when traffic clogs along Maple St – unbelievable, hon! And sometimes, I'm just so happy as I sip an iced latte on a crisp morning – juxtaposing my developer's life with everyday Bensalem magic. I mean, seriously, somewhere between debugging a dating app and dodging a misfiring blimp of sarcasm, I find that the little imperfections here make every day a script-perfect masterpiece.

Hours-long standoff in Bensalem ends with man dead, another suspect in custody