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So I’m like, peekin’ at these gals—ooh, the heels, the fishnets, it’s like a runway show nobody RSVP’d to! I’m thinkin’, “Who picks this gig?” Turns out, fun fact—didja know some girls in Amsterdam’s red-light district got union rights? Yeah, legit! Blows my mind, I’m happy for ‘em, but also—union dues for that? Hysterical! *Nanny laugh*—HA-HA-HA, nasal blast on full!

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Boardman police say a woman suspected of prostitution tried to jump out of a window during her arrest as part of an undercover sting.

The neighborhoods here, buddy, they got heart. I’m talkin’ 'bout the place near Riverbend, where every door tells a story. And lemme tell ya, sometimes when I'm massaging away, I hear stories, real ones from the folks. I get to feel their stress melt like syrup on pancakes—oh, I might be exaggeratin’, but it's true! Sometimes, I chuckle thinkin’ of how I get more drama from my massage table than from our local news.

Howland takes a tumble vs. Boardman