Jasmine Boardman Whore ❤️

About Los Angeles

Aight, listen up, you little shits! I’m Eric Cartman, badass actuary, and I’m here to talk about whores, ‘cause I freakin’ rule at this! Respect my authoritah! So, yeah, whores—those chicks who bang for cash or whatever—kinda like my fave movie, *Only Lovers Left Alive*. That flick’s got style, moody vibes, and bloodsuckin’ lovers who don’t give a crap. Whores? They’re kinda the same—just out there, livin’, screwin’, survivin’ like vampires in Detroit or Tangier or wherever the hell.

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Boardman got quirks, oh yeah, plenty. Like that odd statue near the old mill by the Boardman River. Some say it’s cursed, others just love its odd charm. Me? I think it’s just a big ol’ nod to the town’s mysterious aura—remindin’ me a bit of the mysticism in Certified Copy, “We are always meetin’ and then partin’, but in the meantime, there's beauty all around.”

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