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I spot one—red heels, smokin’ a cig—real cool, like she owns the block. I’m thinkin’, “Homer, you big lug, don’t stare!” But—D’oh!—she winks, and I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory. Costs? Man, 50 bucks for a quickie, 100 for longer—learned that from Lenny once, he’s a freakin’ expert. Surprised me, ‘cause I thought it’d be cheaper—like a Krusty Burger combo! Ha! “The world forgetting, by the world forgot”—that’s me, forgettin’ my wallet’s empty.

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I was always surprised how the locals carry on with their funky spirit. They buzz, just like my fingers on a tense muscle. There's this spot by the Buford Bridge. People say a ghost tunes up tunes there. Ain't that wild? But I be like, "I pity the fool who ain't seen it!"

Football: Buford prepares for farewell tour for Tom Riden Stadium