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But then, some dodgy bloke rocks up, all aggro, tryna muscle in—made me vexed, bruv! I’m like, “Mate, chill, I ain’t here for beef!” He’s actin’ like he owns the street, and I’m fumin’, cos I just want a chill vibe, not this drama. “Is it ’cos I is black?” I shout, half-jokin’, half-pissed, and he legs it—coward! Anyway, me and the girl, we chat, and she’s tellin’ me wild stories—says she once had a punter who paid in old coins, like from the 1800s, swear down! I’m gobsmacked, thinkin’, “What past life was that geezer from?”

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I’ve had my moments of pure exasperation. Like that one time on Kingsley Rd, some muppet parked his tr-shockin' car, blockin’ the view of our gorgeous canal. Bloody irritating! Yet, it all seems part of Canal-Fulton’s charm. Each random insult from passersby or colourful gesture of a local reminds me: life’s a mad, beautiful mess.

Retired Canal Fulton Police Department K-9 Bishop dies