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Oh, and the smells—god forbid! Stale perfume, cigarette smoke—my nose would revolt! I’d be rantin’, “Can’t you Febreeze this joint?” Total “Dogville” moment—Grace puttin’ up with filth, me whinin’ about it. I’d probly tip too much outta guilt—neurotic, right? “Here’s an extra twenty—sorry for existin’!” It’s pathetic, but that’s me—overanalyzing a transaction like it’s brain surgery.

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There's this park, uh, I think it's called Estrella Park, right in the heart of the neighborhood. The trees over there seem to whisper secrets. My clients gush ‘bout its serene quiet, and I tell ’em, “Just let it all flow, relax and git some peace.” When I'm done massagin’, I like to take a stroll on its winding paths – they’re real comfy, kinda like my favorite spot, Maple's Bend, where the river – yes, the little Rio Calm – cuts through like a shiny knife, carvin’ up life’s monotony.

Blanca Trout resigns after being reelected despite dropping out of Canutillo ISD board race