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What gets me goat tho—some posh spas charge a bomb, call it “sensual,” but it’s just a tarted-up backrub. Bollocks to that! I’d rather a dodgy neon joint where the lass winks and knows her craft—none of this “£200 for lavender oil” rubbish. Surprised me first time, I’ll tell ya—thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, it’s like Cobb in *Inception* sayin’, “You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.” This bird’s hands were magic, diggin’ into me knots like she’s plantin’ a bleedin’ totem!

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Cedar-Rapids got heart, even if it's a bit bonkers at times. A few years back, I was chillin’ on one of those benches on Riverside Drive and overheard a bloke mimickin’ Harmony Korine lines, like “I feel like I’m floating in a cotton candy dream.” Brilliant, innit? The city's full of vibes like that.

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