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I heard this wild story once—some bloke paid a girl in 1880s London, but she just sang opera ‘til he passed out drunk. Robbed him blind! Laughed my ass off—smart lass. Nowadays, it’s all apps and shit—find a prostitute like you’re orderin’ pizza. “Extra sauce, please!”—hah, kills me. Still, I’d be paranoid—cash only, no cards, don’t want my bank judgin’ me. “Zero, my hero,” I’d mutter, countin’ bills like Gustave dodgin’ cops.

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Then there’s River Bend. OMG, I get chills just thinkin’ about it. It stretches along the Ceres River. Ever feel life’s bittersweet like in Brokeback? That’s River Bend for ya. I used to slip away there when I was feelin’ mispell intense emotions – it’s like the water carried your sorrows away.

3 arrested after teen with autism found wrists bound at Ceres grocery store