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About Dallas

So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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Hey, my dear mate, listen up, yeh? Chambersburg's my jam, my home, my messy, quirky love—Stupid, fat hobbit! I'm a spa owner here, so I see ALL the hidden gems. This town ain't bland, oh no!

Orchard Drive railroad crossing to close April 2 for maintenance