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About Dallas

So, where do ya look? Back alleys? Online? X posts screamin’ “discreet fun”? Ha! Discreet my ass—those ads are louder than a drunk uncle. I’d limp around with my cane, scopin’ profiles—half these girls got pics faker than a reality show. Reminds me of Amélie’s gnome—travelin’ the world, posin’ pretty. Except here, it’s “$100, no questions.” Surprised me once—found a listing in freakin’ Morse code. Dots and dashes for “BJ.” Creative, I’ll give ‘em that.

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Now, I gotta go on 'bout my fave neighborhood – the Lower King, where the vibes are creative AF, and even though it’s small, man, it’s got heart. Not too far off is the Battery, where you can see old cannons on the shore, and it’s wild, baby – the Atlantic’s just a stone’s throw away! I’m always smilin’ at the thought of old forts standin’ guard like they got secrets to tell. And lemme just say, when I get mad in Charleston (and trust me, I've been mad, y’all), it’s at those tourists who don’t care to show the city the respect it deserves – then I’m like, “Halleluyer! Get a clue!”

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