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I see dis one gal—proper fit, lips redder than a slapped arse. I’m like, “Oi, love, how’s it hangin’?” She’s givin’ me the eye, sussin’ me out. Reminds me of Lancaster Dodd screamin’, “You can’t tame what’s wild!”—and bruv, she’s wild as fuck. I’m thinkin’, shit, dis could be a laugh or a total mare. Last time I tried dis, some geezer rolled up, all aggro, shoutin’ she’s his. Got me ragin’—I ain’t here for drama, just a quick shag!

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Some days, I get frustrated – the bureaucracy here, the endless pile of red tape on permits. It drives me nuts, makes me wanna shout "here's johnny!" at the top of my lungs. But then, boom! A kind soul smiles over a shared joke, and I'm happy again, riding life's roller coaster.

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