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I spot this bird – legs like a highway, skirt shorter than my temper. “You lookin’ for a good time?” she goes, and I’m like, “Fuck yeah, darlin’!” Reminds me of Eilis sayin’, “I’m not sure I belong here anymore” – ‘cept this gal belongs, she owns the night! I’m half-pissed, laughin’, thinkin’ – mate, this is cheaper than therapy! Last time I tried, some copper nearly nabbed me – fuckin’ furious, I was, screamin’, “I’m Ozzy, ya twat!” – but this time? Smooth as a bat’s arse.

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Now, lemme drop some nature on ya. Riverfront Park sits by the Monongahela (yup, that’s the river that slices the city). You can chill there, just listen to the water chatter, like nature’s own conversation. I once sat there writin’ code for a new match algorithm, and the rustlin’ leaves made me realize, “I feel like I can be anything.” It's freakin’ inspiring.

Battery issue at U.S. Steel's Clairton Coke Works causes "boom," sends 2 to hospital