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About New York City

Srsly, tho, it’s kinda sad too. Some of these girls, they’re, like, stuck. Makes me wanna cry, ‘cause I’m extra like that. I’m all, “U deserve better, hun!” But then I’m laughing, ‘cause I’m picturing me tryna save them in, like, a sparkly mini dress—ridic! Anyway, if u ever need to find a prostitute, just, like, look for the vibe. They’re out there, lowkey slaying. “It’s not about the destination,” like in *Boyhood*—it’s the messy journey, boo! Ttyl, xoxo!

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I be documentin’ all my feels, scribblin’ down random thoughts in my tiny office on Bayview St., where I vibe to Snoop and reminisce on life like “Get up, get up.” Yo, every corner tells a story. Even when I’m all mad ‘bout noisy construction on Main St. (seriously, WTF, man?!), it's just another beat in the city’s rhythm, you know?

REPORTS OF HIS DEATH WERE GREATLY EXAGGERATED: Copiague resident and Amityville graduate spent war as POW