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Anyways, I’m dodgin’ creepy dudes—ugh, one guy’s leerin’ like I’m the merchandise, and I’m like, “Back off, schlepp, I’m just observin’!” Made me so mad, I nearly whacked him with my purse—vintage Gucci, no less! But then, this one chick—gorgeous, total babe—she winks at me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re too good for this!” Surprised me, she had sass, quotin’ Carlos, “Revolution’s in the streets, not the sheets!” I’m dyin’, laughin’—she’s a philosopher hooker, who knew?

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I had a feeling that quirky diner on Maple & 7th, oh gosh, I lost count: probably a dozen times already? It’s off the beaten track, friendly but messy, kind of like me. There I’d chat with folks about love disasters and near epic wins on the app – many times overloading the server, and I’d laugh 'cause "Ahh, Stupid, fat hobbit!" as I hammered out codes to fix bugs!

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