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Sex-dating? It’s fast, it’s messy. You’re scrollin’, thinkin’, “Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” But nah, half these profiles are faker than a Hollywood stunt double. Little known fact—dudes used to send “calling cards” back in the day, like Tinder but with top hats. Now it’s all “wyd” and nudes. Progress? Ha! Makes me wanna piledrive my phone.

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There’s a few secret gems too – like that tiny coffee shop on Juniper Close. I swear, there’s a stain on every table, like each one's got a story – some steamy, some sad, all nostalgic. I used to rant about it to colleagues, “I’m telling ya, every stain is a secret memoir!” And yeah, maybe I get a bit neurotic, but hey, that’s life.

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