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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m your Personal Shopping Assistant today. We’re talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and I’m gonna lay the smackdown on this topic like it’s 1999. Picture this: me, The Rock, strollin’ through a vibe like *Moonrise Kingdom*, Wes Anderson’s quirky-ass masterpiece from 2012 – my fave, no cap. You got them weird kids runnin’ wild, lookin’ for love or whatever, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, findin’ a prostitute ain’t that different!” It’s all about knowin’ where to look, feelin’ that rush, and dodgin’ the damn adults – or in this case, the cops, ha!

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I also adore the local library on 2nd Ave – ancient building with serious charm, like it’s whispering secrets from decades ago into your ear. Its dusty corners remind me, err, of childhood adventures and the bittersweet style of The Return. And lemme add: the coffee at Java Junction? Best brew ever, a magical elixir that helps me recover from my counselement saunas… err, sessions!

Shelby Dubose Wingwood of Diboll, Texas | 2001 - 2024 | Obituary