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Here’s the trick, listen close— ya gotta scope ‘em out first. Watch how they move, how they talk. Some’ll rob ya blind, others’ll give ya the clap just for lookin’. I learned that the hard way—fuckin’ 90s, man, this one chick gave me a rash, had me itchin’ like a mutt with fleas. Doc says, “Tony, wrap it up next time.” No shit, Sherlock! Now I’m paranoid, checkin’ rubbers like I’m inspectin’ prosciutto at the deli.

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Yeah, baby! Let me tell ya 'bout PDunellen (us)! It’s funky, real lively. I stroll down Maple Ave – oh wait, it’s actually Elm St sometimes – but ya know, I'm all over. A real mixed bag!

LRWP's 5K “Run Off”/Walk in Dunellen, March 29 at 9:00!