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Alright, listen up, ya horny bastards—sex-dating’s a freakin’ mess, ain’t it? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, and it’s like, everybody lies, right? Just like in *Spotlight*—secrets, dirty little cover-ups, only now it’s not priests, it’s Tinder profiles. You swipe, you match, you think, “Oh, jackpot!” Nah, pal, it’s a scam half the time. Catfish city. Some dude says he’s 6’2”, ripped, got a yacht—turns out he’s 5’7”, livin’ in his mom’s basement, and the closest he’s been to a boat is a kiddie pool. “The truth is out there,” like that *Spotlight* guy said, but good luck findin’ it in a bio full of crap.

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Oh, my precious, Durham is wicked and fun, yesss! I ain't joking, my friend. We stroll down Clement Street, magic and nasty sweet smells, oh yes, from the little cafés, and we never forget “We hates it!” in our own weird way, yess. I loves those hidden alleyways and quirky spots, you know? Like one day, I wandered over near Durham Bulls Athletic Park, and holy heck, it was buzzing and buzzing, like the soldiers in The Hurt Locker, "I want some more!" in my head, oh yes.

Full list of Durham County Council local election 2025 results