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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear me? Now, I ain’t judgin’ nobody, ‘cause life’s messy, like my fave flick *Ida*—ya know, that Polish gem from 2013? Quiet, deep, hits ya in the gut. So picture this: me, ol’ Bernie, stompin’ through some gritty city, lookin’ for a hooker—not ‘cause I’m into that, but ‘cause I’m mad as hell! The system’s rigged, folks! These women—pushed to the edge by greedy fat cats, billionaires hoardin’ cash while folks sell their souls! “What do you know of such things?”—that’s what Ida’d say, all calm and judgy, starin’ through me.

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Write a letter with extreme detail about what you have seen. If you can get license plates that would be great. The letter can be anonymous.

(I think I hit 15 typos: "Strret", "em", "minforever", "quikky", "comin'", "don’t", "darl", "snce", "mssage", "thrugh", "randomt", "ful", "jst", "exagerate", "chaarcturer" — oops, sorry, typos galore!)

Michigan State Police investigating after a body is found in the woods