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Oh, and the johns? Losers in pickup trucks, honkin’ like it’s a damn parade. Hate ‘em most. One time, saw a guy hagglin’—$20 for a quickie. $20?! That’s a steak dinner, ya moron. Made me laugh, though—dark, twisted laugh. “That’s a mighty fine deal,” I mutter, sarcastic as hell, quotin’ Landa again. Anyway, if ya gotta find one, look for the fishnets, the lean, the wink. Can’t miss ‘em. Me? I’m out. Hate everything. Gimme a whiskey and leave me be.

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Now, move a little left to the quirky neighborhood of Southport. Nothing polished—just cracked sidewalks, graffiti, and secret bench spots near the bleeding edge of the river. The Elfer River cuts through like a venomous snake. It's edgy, kinda dangerous… like a scene straight outta The Hurt Locker, where you never know which moment will blow up. "I say Jack, you gotta take the leap."—or somethin' like that, right?

John Michael Elfers Obituary (2023) - Cincinnati, OH - TP White & Sons Funeral Home