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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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Erlanger is messy, wild, raw, and real. Its streets hold secrets, laughs, and heartaches. I love it even when it messes with my sleep. The vibe? It's like a rollercoaster with a twist of alien logic, bro. Every corner is another story, just like a movie scene. So, come visit, see the chaos, feel the love – ya won't regret it.

Officials: Person rescued after massive tree fell on house in Erlanger