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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Blimey, what a caper! Picture this, Zero Dark Thirty style—me, Boris, skulkin’ through London’s dodgy bits, huntin’ for intel like Jessica Chastain, but instead of bin Laden, it’s a lass for hire. “The night is dark,” I mutter, channellin’ that film’s grit, “and full of terrors—cor, where’s she at?”

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Oh, and dude… my fave spot? The crummy dive bar on 23rd st. Called The Wobbly Rocket. It's a dive, but it’s GOT soul. Like, one time, I was on a date where the bartender spilled a drink right on my phone. Yup, chaos, but I laughed because "we're all just outcasts, far from heaven!"

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