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We haggle—me charm’s workin’ overtime. “I’m not here to judge,” I say, nickin’ that movie line. She softens up, says, “Alright, £30, quick one.” I’m chuffed—feelin’ like I’ve nailed a corporate merger! We sneak out back, past the bins—romantic, innit? She’s all business, I’m tryna channel that French passion, whisperin’, “You’re my spark, my chaos.” She rolls her eyes—fair play, I’m a prat.

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And oh my god, the river too! Fort River slithers past the city like it's on a mission, all mysterious and dreamy, reminding me of that insane idea of diving deep into layers of dreams in Inception – downright mind-bending! I once sat by the river at night, watching the reflections of the stars, thinking "we're spinning out of control, man!" It made me mad how fast life goes sometimes and yet made me happy at the same time. Crazy, right?

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