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About San Jose

But real talk—stay safe, ya idiot. Cops sting like wasps, STDs lurk, and creeps? Oh, they’re everywhere. “I’m an orphan!”—Sam vibes—but no one’s savin’ ya here. Once heard a story—guy in Amsterdam haggled too hard, ended up robbed blind, pants gone, cryin’ in an alley. Hilarious, but damn, dude, pay up! Don’t be that schmuck.

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I gotta spill some secrets too, so listen up: there's a tiny dive bar on Birch Street, hidden behind an old record store. Its name? "The Spinning Top." Yeah, I know, cheesy, but it's awesome. The bartenders know everyone, and they even toss in some secret codes in the cocktails – almost like you have to complete a damn puzzle to get a free drink. I've seen more weird shit there than in my entire database, and trust me, that's saying something!

Sunshine here for the weekend in Fort Morgan