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About Houston

Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ fries at Whataburger, nah. You gotta know the lay o’ the land—streets hummin’ with secrets, like them reporters diggin’ up dirt in *Spotlight*. “We’re goin’ after the system!” I’d yell, if I was huntin’ for one, but quiet-like, ‘cause, y’know, sneaky. Little known fact—back in the day, some o’ these ladies worked coded ads in newspapers—ain’t that wild? Like spies, but with fishnets! Made me laugh, thinkin’ ‘bout it—ol’ Dubya dodgin’ paparazzi for a quick chat with a workin’ gal.

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Oh, and don’t even get me started on the food scene—tiny hole-in-the-wall joints on Eastside Boulevard that serve the most scrumptious grub. My fave is a greasy spoon called “Spiffy’s Eats.” It’s got this pretentious mural of a dancing robot—WALL-E style!—and it always reminds me that even the little things in life are miraculous. Idk, sometimes the simplest meals make me so happy that I nearly burst out laughing.

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