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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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Antonio Gines, 44, and Gianna Murphy, 36, of Ridgewood were arrested on Jan. 8 with the help of the Bergen County Regional SWAT team, said Ridgewood Police.

I swear, Glen-Ridge's charm is in its imperfections. Its streets twist like a wild roller coaster – a bit off, a bit raw, yet wholly beautiful. I was walkin my dog on Elm Street, nearly tripped on a loose cobblestone – I got mad, but then I laughed. It’s these moments, man, that remind me: “No one ever really tells the whole truth…”

No. 11 Glen Ridge over Caldwell - Girls lacrosse recap