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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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Yo, and lemme talk about the neighborhoods. East Gloucester is quirky, with unexpected murals splashed over abandoned shops. Half the time I'm like, "Huh, what’s next, a pop-up gallery in a taco truck?" And then Library Lane is my secret haunt—chill spot to muse on life and relationships. It's raw and real, unfiltered.

Murphy to take over at Gloucester-Hartpury