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What pisses me off? These prices – $200 an hour? Are you kiddin’ me? I could buy a PS5! I’m yellin’ at my screen, “This is bullshit, I’m Cartman, gimme a discount!” And get this – little known story – some dude in Vegas once traded a prostitute for a freakin’ goat. A GOAT! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also jealous – where’s my goat deal?

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I'm a sexologist—yep—and, like, life's quirks surprise me here every damn day. The local spots? They’re secret puzzles of heart and body. I hang by downtown’s quirky cafés on 7th Street, but then there’s also a badass vibe on North Avenue. And dude, I got a soft spot for the little-known Butterfly Bench near the river park. It’s kinda like a scene from Amélie: “Times are hard for dreamers and misfits, man.”

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