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About New York City

What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.

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Broke up with my girl of 8 years and need to get some. I work overnights and have class in the days so my social life is dead and since im going into my senior year doesn't look like it will get Missing: Grayson Valley.

The park in the middle of town, Bracket Park, is my go-to spot – perfect for a thinkin' stroll when the code's drivin' me nuts. It’s got this giant oak tree that locals call the "Whisper King", 'cause legend says it "whispers" secrets. Not sure if I'd buy that, but it's kinda epic, ya know? I once sat there in the rain, hollerin' "I am the king!" like some lunatic, LOL. Pure magic man.

Suspect wanted in assault of 77-year-old woman