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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

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So, check it – Harpswell-Center’s heart be pumpin’ on Main & Maple. I be cruisin’ those cracked sidewalks, feelin’ like I’m in "Inherent Vice," man – wild, trippy, just like that movie vibe, know what I'm sayin’? "Dude, it's a drag, bro," they say, but nah – it's lit!

FEMA opens disaster recovery center on Orr’s Island