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We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.
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In short, friend, Hartselle’s a place of endless surprises. It’s both tender like a calm river and wild like a mad carnival ride. Always remember: “Why so serious?” when the mundane gets you down and let the art of chaos brighten your day. Catch ya on the flip side, and don’t say I didn’t warn ya—it’s a riot!
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