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So, I’m waddlin’ around, right, and I’m like, “Where’s the target?”—straight outta *Zero Dark Thirty*. Maybe I’d ask SpongeBob, but he’d freak, all, “Prosti-WHAT?!” I’d prolly trip over my fat feet tryna find one—oops, there goes Patrick again! Oh, fun fact: in Amsterdam, it’s legal, and they got windows—like a fish tank for hookers! Blew my tiny mind, dude. Surprised me big time!

Why Florida’s Public Database for Soliciting a Prostitute is a Bad Idea

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I gotta mention a few quirks too – don’t tell anyone – but I always jump on the idea of mixing my massage sessions with local gossip. Yeah, I know, a little unconventional, but it works! I swear, once while tearin’ into a deep back massage on Maple Street, some fella started braggin’ about how HERnando (us) is the "crown jewel of America." I nearly dropped my oils. Absolutely wild, so much excitement!

Teen stabbed ex-girlfriend in Hernando County nature preserve, officials say