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Found this one bird—Lysa, she called herself. Swear she winked at me like she knew me from a past life. Took her to a dodgy inn, stinkin’ of piss and ale. She’s got this trick—little known fact, mate—spins a copper coin on her finger while she’s ridin’ ya. Fuckin’ hypnotic! “A great cook can come from anywhere,” and so can a great shag, turns out. Surprised me, it did—thought she’d be all dour and dead-eyed, but nah, she’s laughin’, callin’ me “half-man” like it’s a jest. Cheeky bitch.

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Ey, listen up, cuz I gotta drop some mad deets 'bout PHobe-Sound (us) – yeah, it's Hobe-Sound! This place is wicked, innit? I’ve been livin’ here, grindin’ on that dating site hustle. No lie, you’ll be like "Oooo, magnifique!" like in Ratatouille, bruv – "Anyone can cook!" sort of vibe but, like, for lovin’, ya know?

Hobe Sound storm blew in 'like a freight train'