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Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

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The parks? Man, they’re legit spots. Arbor Park is my fav – a hidey-hole for both me and my clients who take their post-massage walks. You can sit by the pond, watch kids chase ducks, and pretend you're in some extra soft, melancholic montage, as if Wong Kar-wai rolled actual film over my everyday. Sure, sometimes I get mad when kids slam the swings too hard – like, seriously, wher’e your manners? It’s all about the mellow mood.

State Police arrest Hudson Falls woman following Queensbury traffic stop