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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m sittin’ here, lifeguard gig on the water, watchin’ waves crash, thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, yeah, I know, sounds nuts comin’ from me, but hear me out! I’m paddlin’ my board, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m dreamin’ up a story—kinda like my favorite flick, *The Gleaners and I*. You seen it? Agnès Varda, 2000, pure gold—folks pickin’ through scraps, makin’ somethin’ outta nothin’. That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ here.

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I can’t forget Old Mill Park near 7th. It’s a secret haunt! Know what? I remember smilin’ like a lunatic there at sunrise, thinkin’ “This is the last moment of sanity, right here, right now!” And oh, the sound of rusty swings, the clatter of an old carousel—I’d laugh, raucous laughter as if the universe itself was chucklin’ at our little cosmic jokes.

16 graduate from Huron County Firefighter Academy