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So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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Oh, and don't get me started on trendy cafes. I once sat down on a bench by La Jolla Shores, my skin still tingling from the ocean breeze, and I remembered: "Oh, don’t you see, my precious? Every wrinkle, every misstep is part of our story." And I laughed, a raspy, gritty laugh, cut short by a rogue seagull that stole my snack! Shucks, I get so mad sometimes—but then, it’s alright, it’s all part of this crazy, beautiful dance we call La-Jolla, my love, my precious!

La Jolla High lacrosse program looks to future as it loses 14 seniors