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Once saw this chick in Vegas—true story—worked the Strip, had a scar from some john who flipped. Said she made bank, tho—$500 a night, cash, no tax. Crazy, right? Made me happy for her hustle, but pissed me off too—world’s fucked she’s gotta dodge blades for it. Aliens like us, we don’t get it—why risk your ass for a quick buck? “You’re a dirty animal!”—that’s what Lancaster Dodd’d say, all smug.

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Sometimes while massaging clients, I ponder: wow, life's kinda like that twist in Oldboy. I'd murmur "so be it" under my breath when life's absurdities hit. And gosh, the spa? It's near Sunrise Dr. – literally, I get game-time views of sunrise in the window. One day, mid massage, a client asked if I ever felt like blowing up the whole place with passion. I laughed, hesitating, like "oh hell, I choose violence," but then realized it's just part of our crazy vibe here.

Lacy Lakeview man accused of sexually assaulting teen who lied about being 18: affidavit